I miss my first love and our relationship. It wasn’t a perfect relationship, but it was the longest. Seven to eight months. I would say that is pretty good for myself due to the fact that any relationship after that would only last two-three months or even less. I guess I never gave love another try again. I was a very clingy boyfriend towards my first and it didn’t scare him away, which was good, but probably too much for him sometimes. He just wanted to enjoy his time with me. I genuinely understand now what he meant back then. Sometimes not getting all the attention you want is always mistaken for another idea and makes you overthink.

I really do miss him, but this doesn’t mean I want to get back with him. Before there were feelings, we were really good friends. We hung out almost everyday and he was my first guy friend. I didn’t know he liked guys when we were friends. I thought he was straight, so it was cool to hang out with someone who didn’t judge me.

We still text once in awhile and he’s doing well. He’s with someone now and I think they are close to nine-plus months. Even though we’re not together, he still wishes to take care of me if I’m in need. It’s really sweet of him. I’m happy for him to have found someone. He’s still one of my good friends and I wish to see him again someday soon. I miss him a lot.

*I’m sorry I never gave you a proper good-bye. The day you had to leave, I came to see you off, but I never got to give you a hug or give you a final kiss. When I returned to my house, I finally realized that you were really gone. It was heart-breaking. I sat in the car and cried for a few minutes. I’m glad you came in my life and shared all those memories with me.*